Bill Nye And Creationist Ken Ham Debate True First Day Of Spring

*This is one of my satirical news articles for the website Newslo.com which was never published due to content, space, timing, or political intrigue. So, enjoy! And remember: THE BOLD PRINT = TRUE FACTS...

 

LOUISVILLE, Ky.—Bill Nye “The Science Guy” squared off in another highly rated debate with creationist Ken Ham grappling over what should be considered the true first day of spring. Nye supported the commonly held March 20^th as the vernal equinox while Ham’s biblical interpretation contended spring actually began over 247 years ago.

Nye recently argued evolution’s case in a debate at Ham’s own Creation Museum in Kentucky. And while Ham advocated a literal interpretation of the story of Genesis, he also insisted the earth was only 6,000 years old. In this second debate, Nye stated the first day of spring is the point where the sun crosses the celestial equator as expected. However, he was noticeably shaken when Ham firmly maintained that spring began in the year 1767.

“The old testament is very clear on this matter. The glorious season of spring, earth’s rebirth, began almost a full decade before American independence,” Ham said to a supportive audience. Adding, “—Just after the extinction of the dinosaurs.”

Nye failed to regain the audience’s attention with several diagrams of the earth tilting on its axis. He explained that while spring begins at 12:57 pm EDT on March 20^th in the Northern Hemisphere, the Southern Hemisphere is just entering its fall. And that is when Ham pounced.

“I’m more interested in the ‘fall of man’ then when a ‘man thinks it’s fall,’” Ham rebutted to thunderous applause. He also argued that, at the time of the debate, there was no compelling evidence that the Southern Hemisphere even existed.

Nye admitted later that he found it difficult debating the creationist, “Whenever his argument falls apart, he just says ‘God works in mysterious ways’ or ‘Uh—it’s magic!’ How are you supposed to argue with that?”

Many in the scientific community have condemned Nye for giving Ham a platform for his beliefs. And it seems that the global media coverage helped Ham’s Creation Museum actually secure funding for his Noah’s Ark theme park featuring a 510 foot replica of the vessel and a “begetting booth” where brothers and sisters can “repopulate the earth.”

“It was a challenging time, one that on a human level required a miracle to overcome,” Ham said of the near collapse in funding of his “Ark Encounter.” “And God in His providence supplied our needs—in the shape of a bowtied nerd.”